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Monday, June 30th, 2008
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12:27 am
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| Sunday, June 29th, 2008
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11:10 pm
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| Friday, June 27th, 2008
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12:20 pm
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
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1:48 am
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| Saturday, June 14th, 2008
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6:44 pm
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| Saturday, June 7th, 2008
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10:00 pm
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"Going from the mouth to the source may well seem to be reversing the natural order, to be going from the death of the sea, where individuality is lost, back to the source of the stream, where individuality is born. Yet that is the way Kenn learned his river and, when he came to think of it, that is the way he learned life."
from 'Highland River' by Neil M Gunn (1937)
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| Monday, June 2nd, 2008
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11:32 pm
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| Sunday, June 1st, 2008
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7:52 pm
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| Friday, May 30th, 2008
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9:35 pm
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9:03 pm
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12:04 am
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| Thursday, May 29th, 2008
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11:50 pm
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"I says, 'In the ninteen-seventies, was it guns and stuff Brotherhood was selling way over in other countries?'
'Yes. And unrepentantly from that school that if he didn't sell the goodies to them the next man would. I used to know young Brotherhood. He once told me of some war - there were so many - and the airforce managed to get fuel but they had no weapons left at all: no rockets, no bombs, not even bullets for machine guns. Brotherhood presumed there would be no airforce attacks but there were: the jets came in low and very fast over civilian villages. The pilots emptied bags of rusty nails out the open cockpits. "Nails travelling at 300 m.p.h. can make quite a decoration on a child's body," those were Brotherhood's words. It's unusual. He never shows any feelings yet it was clear the day made a hefty impression on him. He said that was when he understood the Devil had won the struggle one day no one noticed; we're just under the impression the struggle still goes on."
- from 'These Demented Lands' by Alan Warner (1997)
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| Monday, May 19th, 2008
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8:24 pm - Playing and Posing on a Sunday Night
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7:58 pm - Decor-8
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| Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
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9:38 pm
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( Epitaph )
current music: Necrophagist : Seven
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| Saturday, May 10th, 2008
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11:38 am - Three Days On The River (Mobile Phone Pictures)
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Music :
Down By The River
13th Floor Elevators
Bull Of The Woods (1968)
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
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6:20 pm
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11:48 am
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If I could ever be said to possess something akin to a "spirituality", I would find it difficult to define.
Most nights I have a hot bath and read a book by candlelight for maybe an hour or so. The heat of the water and the enclosed room causes me to sweat, until I emerge some time later physically weakened.
In this sense it could be said to distantly resemble the sweat lodge ritual of the Lakota. While theirs is a social ritual, mine is far more individual. It is really a search for clarity, about purifying all the things which I do not feel to be a part of myself. In that room, life is simple, actions are clear and concise, living is easy. The problem comes in exporting that to the outside world.
In my weakened state, I realise the need for very few possessions. Living with cats is interesting, they interact on a purely natural level. It is of no consequence to them if a piece of plastic is moulded into a bowl or a watering can, or if a piece of cutlery is placed here or there. In this light, materialism soon appears ridiculous.
Yet we are part of a western society that is deeply steeped in consumerism. Even individuality is most clearly defined through choice of purchase, clothing, badges, jewellery, music etc. Things are no longer created of need, instead something is created and a need artificially created through advertising and marketing. It is a form of conditioning that is difficult to undo. To live one way in the weakened state and another in the outside world is a source of unhappiness; so each day I work to unite the two.
If I was to further describe this 'spirituality', I would say it is rooted also in Tao. Tao is an equally difficult philosophy to apply to modern existence, but for different reasons. Tao is a philosophy based in and around nomadic solitude. It requires absolute stillness and clarity of mind. This can be done relatively easy in a weakened state, but in the fullness of life problems are again found.
The city is a grim place, like in the poem 'The City Of Dreadful Night'. The buildings loom grey and in shadow. Nature creeps in only through cracks, and then only remind us of our mortality. In the city, fatalism is ruler, and I do not reject it. I believe in no afterlife, no reincarnation, so life is a precious short-lived object. We are always conscious that one day we will come to an end and that everything we have ever done, every action or thought, every word or acquisition will mean nothing; yet it does not stop us trying. Death is as important as life. The thought of death crystalises thoughts and emotions just like the weakened state. It is a useful tool for understanding what is truly important to you.
In either of these states when I consider the frailty of life, I always revert to the same thought of how grateful I am for my life with Sharon. Our home, our adventures, our memories, our little shared experiences and unique communications. Then I will take myself away from whatever has induced the thought to go and find her, and give her a hug.
( A Week in Existence )
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| Sunday, April 27th, 2008
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7:31 pm
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I've been taking so many photos that it's getting difficult keeping up...
Music :
Galgenfrist
Nortt
Galgenfrist (2008)
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| Saturday, April 26th, 2008
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6:49 pm
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in_thy_bounty's journal
